A doctor wanted to get off work

A doctor wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant.

“Seamus, I am going hunting tomorrow. I don’t want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of my patients.”

“Yes, sir!” answers Seamus.

The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: “So, Seamus, how was your day?”

Seamus told him that he took care of three patients.

“The first one had a headache so I gave him Tylenol.”

“Bravo, and the second one?” asks the doctor.

“The second one had stomach burning and I gave him Malox, sir.” says Seamus.

“Bravo, bravo! You’re good at this and what about the third one?” asks the doctor.

“Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opened and a woman entered. Like a flame, she undressed herself, taking off everything including her corset, her underwear and lied down on the table. She spread her legs and shouted: “HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!”

“Thundering’ Lard Jayzus, Seamus, what did ye do?” asks the doctor.

“I put drops in her eyes.”