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A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. “What’s the matter?” he was asked. He said, “I heard the...
A local lawyer was sitting in his office the other morning when in walked a beautiful young lady. Without any preliminaries she said she wanted a...
Three elderly men are taking a walk outside their nursing home. The first one says, “Windy, isn’t it?” The second one says, “No, it’s Thursday!” The...
After she woke up, a woman told her husband, “I just had a dream that you gave me the most beautiful diamond necklace. What do you...
An office exec was interviewing a blonde for an assistant position, and wanted to find out a little about her personality. “If you could have a...
A lawyer died and arrived at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter asked him, “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?” The lawyer thought a...
A man comes home from a night of drinking. As he falls through the doorway, his wife snaps at him: “What’s the big idea coming home...
A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. “I’m shocked!” she complained. “This is three times what you normally charge.” “Yes, I know,”...
A drunk walks into a crowded bar and takes the last bar stool next to an older woman. After awhile, the woman starts to smell this...
As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual, “And what would you like for Christmas?” The child stared at him open mouthed...
Two kids are arguing over whose father is the biggest scaredy-cat. The first kid says, “My dad is so scared that when lightning strikes, he hides...
A guy goes into a bar and orders a beer. As he takes a sip of his beer, he hears a tiny little voice say: “Nice...
A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the tools, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says,...
A wife is having lovemaking with her husband’s best friend one day. Soon the phone rings, so she answers it. “Yes… uh, huh… OK… yes… bye.”...
An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating proposing. “Do you think she’d marry me if...
A man with a piece of paper in his hand comes into an office where another man is sitting next to a shredding machine. “Do you...
A young American tourist goes on a guided tour of a creepy old European castle. At the end of the tour the guide asks her how...
An eighty-year-old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began muttering, “Oh oh!” The man...
One day at home the phone rings and Joe answers it. On the other end is a confused woman who asks, “Who is this?” “This is...
A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself...