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Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, “What...
A guy goes into a drugstore to buy rubber pack. “What size?” asks the clerk. “Gee, I don’t know.” “Go see Sophie in aisle 4.” He...
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man...
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ”Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the...
A beautiful woman is standing on a bridge, looking over the side and thinking about jumping off. A homeless man walks up to her. She sees...
A man is talking to his friend and he says: “I’m about to go on vacation, and I don’t know what to do.” His buddy asks:...
Two secretaries were talking about their work. “I hate filing,” said one. “No matter how careful I am, I can never find the papers I’m looking...
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?” One boy answers, “We found a £10 note and...
Two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the...
A couple are playing in the annual golf club championship. They are playing in a play off hole and it is down to a 6 inch...
A group of girls walks into a bar. One of the women tells the bartender to line up a row of drinks for all of them....
A man went to his lawyer and told him, “My neighbour owes me $500 and he doesn’t want to pay up. What should I do?” “Do...
A grandmother who took her little grandson to the beach. They were having a good time until a huge wave came in and swept the boy...
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep...
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says “Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses.” The woman answered “Well,...
Two nuns were walking home one night down a very dark street. One nun was called Sister Mathematical because of her gift for numbers and the...
A doctor tells a rich old man that he’s going to die if he doesn’t get a new heart soon. The old man tells the doctor...
A man walks in a bank, pulls out a gun, and robs the bank… Then he turns around and asks the next customer in line, “Did...
Two fishermen, Paul and Jim, decided to rent a boat on a lake for their favourite sport. After fishing for 4 hours at various places around...
A man goes to the doctor after feeling ill. The doctor says, “You know, you should have come to see me sooner. Unfortunately you have waited...