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Two men are sitting drinking at a bar at the top of the Empire State Building when the first man turns to the other and says,...
One day a blonde went up to a soda machine, put in some money, and a soda came out. She got really excited and started to...
Old Josh was sat in his garden, sunbathing in the deck chair when he noticed his grand-son kneeling on the lawn with a worm. When he...
A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or...
Two lawyers were walking along, negotiating a case. “Look,” said one to the other, “let’s be honest with each other.” “Okay, you first,” replied the other....
A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer asks her some questions: Officer: What’s 2 + 2? Blonde: Ummm… 4! Officer:...
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. “Careful,” he said, “CAREFUL! Put in some...
A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom....
An old man ordered one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink. He then unwrapped the burger and carefully cut it in half, placing...
A bunch of girls had become upset at an anthropology professor who had a knack of offending women. They decided the next time he did something...
Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, in front...
A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doctor, you’ve got to do something about my husband he thinks he’s a refrigerator!” “I wouldn’t worry too...
A guy is riding the bus when at a stop, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen gets on. The only problem is that she...
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and...
A man came home from an exhausting day at work, plopped down on the couch in front of the television, and told his wife: “Get me...
A couple of young children are at day care one day when one of the little girls approaches Tommy and says, “Hey, Tommy, wanna play house?”...
A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning. Finally the pro asks her what she wants. “I can’t find any green golf...
A man went to his lawyer and told him, “My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn’t want to pay up. What should I do?” “Do...
A cowboy runs into a bar and says to the bartender, “Give me twenty shots of your best scotch, and make it quick!” The bartender pours...
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders. The man...