Mr. Johnson was overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. He said, I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a...
Little Jenny walked into the kitchen one day and looked up at her mother, who was busy cooking dinner. “Mommy, how old are you?” she asked....
Two lawyers were in a coffee shop talking. One of the lawyers names was Thomas Strange. After a while their conversation became rather morbid, and they...
Nursery school teacher says to her class, “Who can use the word ‘Definitely’ in a sentence?” First a little girl says “The sky is definitely blue”...
Two men were shipwrecked near an island. When they landed ashore, one of them began screaming and yelling, “We’re going to die! We’re going to die!...
A man and woman were having marriage problems, and decided to end their union after a very short time together. After a most brief attempt to...
A businessman boarded a flight and was lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he noticed she...
A man goes into the hospital for some tests. The medical staff knocks him out, and when he comes around there is a doctor peering over...
A good-looking guy is sitting in a bar, sipping a whiskey. He notices a gorgeous woman at the end of the bar, talking with a friend....
A guy is sitting at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He’s slamming tequila left and right. He grabs one, drinks it,...
Two old women are discussing the disgusting habits of their husbands. “Even after all these years, my husband will not stop biting his nails,” the first...
Frank and John left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car and started it up. After a couple of minutes, an...
A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck. When they died, God granted all of them one wish. The first...
A teacher fell asleep in class and a little naughty boy walked up to him, Little boy: “teacher are you sleeping in class?” Teacher: “No I...
A man in a hospital bed called for his doctor & asked, “Give it to me straight. How long have I got?” The physician replied that...
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and...
One day a blonde came home from school and came to her mother and said, “Hey, Mommy! Mommy! Today in school we learned to count. The...
A blonde was so upset about everyone always making fun of her being blonde that she decided to hang herself. A little while later, a couple...
Harry and his wife are driving in the country when he sees a sign that reads: “Cow For Sale — $5,000.” He pulls in and says...
A man walked into an insurance office and asked two senior executives for a job. “We’re not taking on new staff,” they said. “But you can’t...