A little old lady comes into the kitchen to talk to her husband and says, “Honey just look at me. My legs are heavy, thighs are...
During a bank robbery, the thief’s mask slipped off. He fixed it and asked a hostage, “Did you see my face?” The hostage had, so the...
A man was driving his wife home after a night out, when they were stopped by the police. “Sir, did you know you were speeding?” asked...
Peter sat at his dying wife’s bedside. Her voice was little more than a whisper. “Pete darling,” she breathed, “I’ve a confession to make before I...
Two women are walking home from the bar, they both have to piss so they slip into a nearby cemetery. One uses her underwear to wipe...
A farmer walks into his bedroom carrying a lamb under his arm. He walks over to his wife who’s laying in bed. “See!” he yells, “This...
Two women are discussing life in the retirement village they live in with their spouses and how they like it. One woman tells the other that...
A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now, you...
A man is about to enter a meeting at work when he realizes that he forgot some important paperwork. He calls home so that his wife...
There are three women. One is dating, one is engaged, and one is married. They decide to get kinky with their men and really pull out...
A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit. She gets two shot glasses,...
A couple drives to the hospital because the wife is in labor. The doctor alerts them that she invented a machine that will transfer some of...
A husband and wife are moving out of their house and are starting to box everything up. The husband finds a box under the bed, pulls...
A husband and wife decide on a code language whenever they feel like having make love to escape the attention of their son. According to the...
An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application. Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove...
A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, “Quick, bring me a beer...
A young couple is on their honeymoon. The husband is sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, “Now how can...
A young man and woman got married. At the time of their marriage, the husband noticed his wife carried a decently sized metal box and shoved...
A husband suspected his wife was cheating on him. He explained his situation to a pet shop owner who replied, “I have a parrot that will...
Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing undressed around his John Deere. “What are you doing!” asks Bob. Pete...