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A man joins a soccer team and his new teammates inform him, “At your first team dinner as the new guy, you will have to give...
A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he’s topping 100 mph. The man eventually realizes...
Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it’s his daughter’s birthday and he hasn’t bought her a present. He drives to the...
A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television. The husband sighs and complains, “This is disappointing. It only lasted for...
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house....
A husband exclaims to his wife one day, “Your bum is getting really big. It’s bigger than the BBQ grill!” Later that night in bed, the...
A lady comes home from her doctor’s appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, “Why are you so happy?” The wife says, “The doctor...
A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in lovemaking. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that...
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies,...
The weather was very hot and this man wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake. He didn’t bring his swimming outfit, but who...
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he...
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner. The girl tells her boyfriend that she would like to “do it” for...
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with...
The young wife went into labor while her husband was overseas serving in the war. The next day he got the news that his wife had...
After 15 years of marriage the wife asked her husband to describe her. The husband looked at her slowly and without blinking an eye, said, “ABCDEFGHIJK.”...
One day a teacher was asking her class to use absolutely in a sentence. So Janet raised her hand and said, “the sky is absolutely blue”...
A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 AM. The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, “How am...
A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner: The...
An old lady went into a bar in Ibiza and saw a man with his feet propped upon a table. He had the biggest boots she’d...
Judy and Ted got married and had 13 children, then Ted died of Heart Disease: Judy married again and she and Bob had 7 more children....