A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife undressed on the bed,...
A lawyer tries to make conversation when barber shaves his hair. Barber whispers in lawyer’s ear: This kid is one of the dumbest kids in the...
A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. A man comes in and asks the farmer, “Hey, why are you sitting here on this...
A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall that says, “$500 if we fail to fill your order.” When his...
Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table discussing their problems with getting old. The first one said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar...
A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk So the bartender says to another man...
A guy goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his weapon. Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why...
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his private part. A woman passing by remarks, “If you were any sort...
A man and his wife are at a restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table....
A school teacher used to take a short nap every afternoon. When his pupils asked him why he did so, he said that he went to...
A third age Scotsman was waiting for his son to return from his first date. Finally, he arrived after midnight. “Were you worried, father?” “Yes, I...
There was a man who had three girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each one $5000 and...
An old man was on the beach and walked up to a beautiful girl in a bikini, “I want to feel your fronts” he exclaimed. “Get...
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman...
A Polish man had married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada for a year or so and although his English was far from...
A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with, “Where were you the night of...
Three newlywed men were discussing their wives. The first guy married an Iowa gal; he says, I told my wife she had to all the cooking....
After making love, the man excused himself and went into the bathroom. When he returned, the woman sat up in bed and remarked, “I can tell...
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A pretty, young, student nurse appears to...
An insurance company asked for more information regarding a work-related accident claim This was the response: “I put ‘poor planning’ as the cause of my accident...