Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table discussing their problems with getting old The first one said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar...
The priest says, “Oh heavens, I forgot my lures back on land” and steps out of the boat, walks across the water back to the land,...
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through...
Two bachelors are talking and their conversation drifts from politics to cooking. “I got a cookbook last Christmas,” says the first, “but I was never able...
A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk So the bartender says to another man...
A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbour and says, “Please come over here and help me I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure...
Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way. Andy’s wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes...
An old man is eating his lunch in a restaurant when three bikers walk up to him. They make fun of him for being old, and...
A guy goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his weapon. Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why...
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, “If you were any sort of...
One day an old lady won the lottery and bought a mansion. She would wake up every day in her mansion lonely So one day the...
A woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she’s wearing a diamond necklace. He asks his wife, “Where did you get that necklace?” She...
Three blondes were sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A game warden came up behind them,...
A man and his wife are at a restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table....
A school teacher used to take a short nap every afternoon. When his pupils asked him why he did so, he said that he went to...
A third age Scotsman was waiting for his son to return from his first date. Finally, he arrived after midnight. “Were you worried, father?” “Yes, I...
There was a man who had three girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each one $5000 and...
An old man was on the beach and walked up to a beautiful girl in a bikini, “I want to feel your fronts” he exclaimed. “Get...
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman...
A Polish man had married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada for a year or so and although his English was far from...