A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller, “I want to open a account here.” The astonished woman replies, “I beg...
Johnny told dad to take a shower. “I’m scared, can I take a shower with you?” Johnny said. “No, son, that would be weird,” his father...
Dolly wanted a new living room set but her husband kept saying. “No.” Every day she would ask him to please let her have the set....
A leading professor of make love behavior is giving a lecture to his students, Explaining that people’s overall disposition is directly related to the number of...
Two unemployed guys are talking. One says: “I’m going to become a lion-tamer.” The other replies, “That’s crazy, you don’t know nothing about no lion taming.”...
An 80-year-old man went to the doctor, who was amazed at what good shape he was in. The doctor asked, “Why do you think you have...
On Little Johnny’s first day of school, The teacher asked Johnny what 10+10 is and he said he doesn’t know. So his teacher told him to...
A newly married couple was walking through a garden, suddenly a dog ran towards them. They both knew it will bite them. The husband lifted his...
An elderly couple is both lying in bed one morning, having just woken from a good night’s sleep. He takes her hand and she responds. “Don’t...
The doctor and his wife were playing golf at the club and she drove a 300-yard tee shot straight down the fairway. The doctor said Wow...
It was a little boy’s first day in school and a teacher was going to play a “guessing” game. She passed out different items to each...
While enjoying a drink at the bar a guy decided to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone. To his surprise, she asked...
A drunk staggers into a diner and orders a couple of eggs. The waiter, suspecting that they’ve run out, goes back to question the chef. “Hey,...
Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. “Hey, I don’t want to tell you how...
A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for dinner. This is her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit...
A man walked into a bar and ordered a glass of white wine. He took a sip of the wine, then tossed the remainder into the...
An elderly couple were at home at the wife called out “So, when are you going to the doctor” “I told you, I’ll go when I...
Three pregnant women are sitting in a cafe having lunch when one of them says. “I know that I’m going to have a boy.” The other...
Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, “Mom, what are those things on your chest!?” Unsure of how to reply, she tells...
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met the animal at the Pearly Gates and said, “You have been a good cat all of these...