The Queen and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and they both go before St. Peter to find out if they’ll be admitted to heaven....
Two beggars in London Ali and Habib are beggars. They beg in different areas of London … Habib begs just as long as Ali does, but...
There was a woman who had a dog that snored. She called her vet to find out if there was anything that would stop the snoring....
An eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical examination whereupon the doctor said “You are in fine shape for your age.. but tell me.. do...
A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name. ‘Fred,’ he replies. ‘Fred what?’ the...
A woman consulted a divorce attorney to discuss her marriage annulment on account of her husband’s irrational attitudes. After being married to her husband for years,...
A boy, his father and his mother are having dinner. But the boy doesn’t want to eat his broccoli. Eat your broccoli! – says the mother....
A blonde was suffering from constipation, so his doctor prescribed suppositories. A week later the blonde complained to the doctor that they didn’t produce the desired...
A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it’ll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the...
A couple was watching a Discovery Channel special about an African bush tribe whose men all had manhood 24 inches long. When males reach a certain...
A drunken Irishman is driving through the city of Dublin and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. “So,”...
Two blondes decide to go duck hunting. Neither one of them has ever been duck hunting before and after several hours they still haven’t bagged any....
Three nuns died in a car accident. They reached to the gates of heaven but the person who let’s people in said, “so I know you...
Three Scotsmen were sitting in a bar together. When I die, said the old Scot, I would like one of you to pour a bottle of...
A guy asked a girl in a university library: “Do you mind if I sit beside you?” The girl replied with a loud voice: “I DON’T...
The doctor and his wife were playing golf at the club and she drove a 300 yard tee shot straight down the fairway. The doctor said...
A guy gets home late one night and his wife says, “where the hell have you been?” “I was out getting a tattoo.” “A tattoo? What...
A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine. ‘What was...
A man walks into a bank and says to the the clerk, “I want to open a account in this damn bank.” The woman, astonished, replies:...
Jesus and Moses are relaxing on a boat and talking about the good old days. The subject of miracles comes up, and they decide to see...