Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One old lady turns to the other and asks, “Do you still get horny?” The...
A lady went into a bar in Waco and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest feet she’d...
Joe woke up one morning and looked for his wife, but his wife wasn’t there. She had awakened and was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Joe...
A Jewish man went to eat at a Chinese restaurant and started to wonder if there were any Chinese Jews. So, when the waiter came over...
Two neighbors, one is rich and the other is poor. The poor have a magic lamp. Every morning he wipes the lamp and a genie comes...
One night a man has a dream that he died and went to heaven. He sat next to another man on a bench and began talking....
The subway bus was packed. It was rush hour, and many people were forced to stand. One particularly cramped woman turned to the man behind her...
The phone rings at the local police station. “Hello? I’m calling to report my neighbor, Craig. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!” “Thank you very...
Four guys are playing golf together and talking about how successful their sons are. The first says, “My son is so successful, he’s VP of his...
An art teacher, a math teacher, and a science teacher are all arguing over which one of them is the smartest. The art teacher shows the...
Once upon a time there was a woman married to an annoying man named Steve. He would complain about everything. One day he went to their...
A young woman was preparing a ham dinner. After she cut off the end of the ham, she placed it in a pan for baking. Her...
The Queen and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and they both go before St. Peter to find out if they’ll be admitted to heaven....
Two beggars in London Ali and Habib are beggars. They beg in different areas of London … Habib begs just as long as Ali does, but...
There was a woman who had a dog that snored. She called her vet to find out if there was anything that would stop the snoring....
An eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical examination whereupon the doctor said “You are in fine shape for your age.. but tell me.. do...
A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name. ‘Fred,’ he replies. ‘Fred what?’ the...
A woman consulted a divorce attorney to discuss her marriage annulment on account of her husband’s irrational attitudes. After being married to her husband for years,...
A boy, his father and his mother are having dinner. But the boy doesn’t want to eat his broccoli. Eat your broccoli! – says the mother....
A blonde was suffering from constipation, so his doctor prescribed suppositories. A week later the blonde complained to the doctor that they didn’t produce the desired...