A little boy goes to his father and asks, “Daddy, how was I born?” The father answers, “Well, son, I guess one day you were going...
There was this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he...
Three turtles, Joe, Steve, and Poncho, decide to go on a picnic. Joe packs the picnic basket with cookies, bottled sodas, and sandwiches. The trouble is,...
Carl is in the 10th year of a life sentence when he gets a new cellmate, Jim. … after taking some time to size Jim up...
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and...
A sixteen year-old boy came home with a brand new Ford F150. His parents look at the truck and ask, “Where did you get that truck?!”...
A hillbilly’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was...
One morning, the wife wakes up to find her mother gone. In a worried state, she awakens her husband and they both set off to find...
Pete and Larry had not seen each other in many years. Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years...
Little Johnny was on a park bench stuffing all of his Halloween candy in his mouth. An old lady came over and said. “Son, don’t you...
This mafia family was in need of a collection officer, and after screening many applicants they hired an individual who happened to be hearing impaired. He...
Two guys are speeding through Texas when a state trooper pulls them over. The trooper walks up to the drivers side of the car, gets out...
“Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.” “Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical.” “Because it gets late...
A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two...
It’s the spring of 1957 and Bobby, a pretty hip guy with his own car, goes to pick up his date. When he goes to the...
ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE: Warning keep out of children. ON A HAIR DRYER: Do not use while sleeping. ON A BAG OF FRITOS: You could...
Two Arkansans meet on a dusty, country road. One of them is carrying a big bag, labeled chickens. “Chickens, eh?” says his friend. “Hey, if I...
Once, a long, long time ago, in a small village just outside of some place you’ve never heard of, there was quite a stir amongst the...
A man was walking down the beach when he found a bottle. He picks up the bottle, and a genie comes out. The genie says...
A guy burned both of his ears… so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened. He said, “I was ironing my clothing and...